My Life

 I’m 42, I’ve been married twice. The first one I just loved beyond loving myself. After him I was afraid of every other man that was out there. I was angry at the world. I didn’t understand WHY.  A man that claimed to love me could kill me without a second thought, could force himself on me and I felt so helpless. I had lost will to live. I’d go to bed beaten and bruised and cry myself to sleep praying to God for me not to wake up. But every morning he woke me up. I finally left him, I feared for my life and when he told me he was going to finish what he started and slit my throat, I ran and never looked back. I had some real barriers I had to be able to cross. When I finally did, I prayed to God again and asked him not to let another man enter my life IF he was not for me. I was physically, mentally and emotionally damaged. The fat girl with a beautiful smile but sad eyes. “Silent Cries” because even though you didn’t see my tears they was always there. Then one day he “Daniel Wiggins” came along while I was playing Call of Duty, a New York City guy. I was drawn to this man but he respectfully told me he didn’t like big girl’s